Children who have never attended preschool before can find the experience very distressing at first. Kids are very routine-oriented by nature, and interrupting their normal way of doing things by introducing strange new experiences can cause some emotional and even physical setbacks. There are ways that parents can help reduce their kids' anxiety to help them to adjust to preschool.
Why the Anxiety?
An anxious child may begin hiding, crying, become physically violent, or even regress in their toilet training. These are all manifestations of their fear, which is summed up in two problems:
separation anxiety and fear of the unknown. The two are closely linked, but are not the same. Separation anxiety occurs when the child is afraid to let mom or dad go, because they do not know if they will ever see them again. Preschool-age children are at the developmental stage where they recognize the impermanence of things, and they fear change, and the unknown, for that reason.
They do not know what is coming next.
Addressing the Root of the Problem
If you notice anxiety in your child about going to preschool, ask them what is bothering them. Although preschoolers do not have the full language capacity to explain everything, they respond well to open questions. For example, ask them, "Are you upset Mommy is leaving?," "Are you afraid Mommy might not come back?" or "Does the new school make you scared or sad?" Once you figure out whether it is separation anxiety, stranger anxiety, or just general fear of the unknown, you can begin a plan of action for helping your child overcome their fear. Preschool is very necessary for
development, but it should be fun, too.
Separation Strategies
Preschool kids can deal well with things as long as they know what is coming. They do not like unpleasant surprises-no one does. You will know ahead of time that preschool is coming up, so begin preparing them for the idea of separation. Get a calendar and mark the upcoming date off every day with your child. Make it a fun experience by promising something fun on the "Big Day" if they can behave themselves. Hold "separation drills" if possible, by leaving the child for short periods (with a trusted caregiver, of course). Do this regularly for a week or two, so they become used to you leaving and returning regularly.
Routines and Comfort Objects
Children of preschool age crave routine. Early childhood educators tell us that young kids define their lives by their routines: snacks, naptime, bedtime, story time, etc. By developing "goodbye" routines and using comfort objects, you can build the separation into their psyche, and build memories, too. Pressing a lipstick kiss on a tissue, drawing a heart or smiley on their palm, putting a picture of your family into their backpack, or saying special phrases all work. Sometimes they might benefit by bringing a beloved blanket or stuffed animal to class, but make sure they know up front it is only temporary.
Do not Fan the Flames
Do not get overly emotional during goodbyes, because that can increase the child's anxiety. Make the leave-taking quick, with a kiss and a bright smile, so they do not notice your own stress. If your kid begins to wind up for a temper tantrum, do not give in or get visibly upset, as this is a validation for bad behavior. Do not let them watch scary or vivid shows and movies, which can increase their anxiety and imagination of bad changes. Try to keep the routine as "routine" as possible, like staying with the same caregivers, other daily routines, etc., so they can deal with one big change at a time.
Preschool-aged children are very sensitive, yet are also very adaptable. It is normal to see some anxiety when beginning a new routine like preschool, but with the right preparation, they will make it through just fine. Preschool is an enjoyable and stimulating experience children will treasure once you help them over the anxiety hump.
Resources:
http://www.ride.ri.gov/InstructionAssessment/EarlyChildhoodEducation/EarlyLearningChallenge.aspx
https://www.himama.com
Why the Anxiety?
An anxious child may begin hiding, crying, become physically violent, or even regress in their toilet training. These are all manifestations of their fear, which is summed up in two problems:
separation anxiety and fear of the unknown. The two are closely linked, but are not the same. Separation anxiety occurs when the child is afraid to let mom or dad go, because they do not know if they will ever see them again. Preschool-age children are at the developmental stage where they recognize the impermanence of things, and they fear change, and the unknown, for that reason.
They do not know what is coming next.
Addressing the Root of the Problem
If you notice anxiety in your child about going to preschool, ask them what is bothering them. Although preschoolers do not have the full language capacity to explain everything, they respond well to open questions. For example, ask them, "Are you upset Mommy is leaving?," "Are you afraid Mommy might not come back?" or "Does the new school make you scared or sad?" Once you figure out whether it is separation anxiety, stranger anxiety, or just general fear of the unknown, you can begin a plan of action for helping your child overcome their fear. Preschool is very necessary for
development, but it should be fun, too.
Separation Strategies
Preschool kids can deal well with things as long as they know what is coming. They do not like unpleasant surprises-no one does. You will know ahead of time that preschool is coming up, so begin preparing them for the idea of separation. Get a calendar and mark the upcoming date off every day with your child. Make it a fun experience by promising something fun on the "Big Day" if they can behave themselves. Hold "separation drills" if possible, by leaving the child for short periods (with a trusted caregiver, of course). Do this regularly for a week or two, so they become used to you leaving and returning regularly.
Routines and Comfort Objects
Children of preschool age crave routine. Early childhood educators tell us that young kids define their lives by their routines: snacks, naptime, bedtime, story time, etc. By developing "goodbye" routines and using comfort objects, you can build the separation into their psyche, and build memories, too. Pressing a lipstick kiss on a tissue, drawing a heart or smiley on their palm, putting a picture of your family into their backpack, or saying special phrases all work. Sometimes they might benefit by bringing a beloved blanket or stuffed animal to class, but make sure they know up front it is only temporary.
Do not Fan the Flames
Do not get overly emotional during goodbyes, because that can increase the child's anxiety. Make the leave-taking quick, with a kiss and a bright smile, so they do not notice your own stress. If your kid begins to wind up for a temper tantrum, do not give in or get visibly upset, as this is a validation for bad behavior. Do not let them watch scary or vivid shows and movies, which can increase their anxiety and imagination of bad changes. Try to keep the routine as "routine" as possible, like staying with the same caregivers, other daily routines, etc., so they can deal with one big change at a time.
Preschool-aged children are very sensitive, yet are also very adaptable. It is normal to see some anxiety when beginning a new routine like preschool, but with the right preparation, they will make it through just fine. Preschool is an enjoyable and stimulating experience children will treasure once you help them over the anxiety hump.
Resources:
http://www.ride.ri.gov/InstructionAssessment/EarlyChildhoodEducation/EarlyLearningChallenge.aspx
https://www.himama.com
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